I know a certain couple who buys one toy for their toddler for every toy store visit. They say if they will not do it, their daughter would make a scene in the toy store by crying her lungs out while lying on the floor. They also would not give discipline for unacceptable behavior simply because they are guilty not being able to take care of her because they both needed to work. And that she is still very young.
Discipline is not merely punishment. It is a training process for the child. It is both difficult for both the parents and the child but discipline when done in the virtue of love, in the proper time and procedure, and with the intention of bringing-out righteousness will reap great rewards for both the child and the parents.
I have listened to one of Dr. Harold Sala’s audio podcast from www.guidelines.org last month about discipline and I have to agree with every word. It is important, it is crucial to discipline our children. Below is the transcript of his five-minute commentary.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6, KJV
Ethel Barrett tells of the time she was waiting her turn in a beauty shop when a little boy, about 4 years of age, started yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs. Most folks tried to ignore the unruly child, but then a gray-haired lady gruffly barked, "Sit down!" and the 4 year old, ready to do battle with her, threw a magazine at her.
Like a drill sergeant, she gave the order again, "Sit down!" and this time she picked him up and sat him in a chair. The little boy let out a blood curdling scream which could be heard miles away. Picking up the magazine which had been thrown at her, she began to turn the pages asking, "What's that?" pointing to the pictures. The little boy still paid no attention and yelled at the top of his lungs. The gray-haired grandmother kept turning the pages until the little boy had begun responding, naming the things in the pictures.
Finally, the grandmother wiped away his tears and he was quite happy when it was her turn to have her hair done. As she prepared to get up she said, "Now you sit here and look at this magazine."
As Ethel Barrett passed by she said, "My, you have an intelligent child with you!" "My child?" said the gray-haired grandmother, "I never saw that kid before. I saw he needed discipline and decided to give it to him!"
For a generation or so, the experts told parents that discipline would inhibit a child's development, and as the result of that advice a generation of kids grew up without much guidance, and we've reaped a whirlwind effect today. But much of this has changed. Discipline has come back into style, at least in a measure.
What does discipline accomplish in the life of a youngster?
Five things which may well be an encouragement to you, whether you are a parent, a grandparent, or a friend.
Benefit #1: Discipline produces happy, well-adjusted children. The story which I related, a true one as well, illustrates that point. Hebrews 12:11 from the New Testament says, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Benefit #2: Discipline produces security to any child by knowing the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Go to the largest sheep ranch in Australia and you will find an ewe with her head stuck through the barbed wire trying to nibble the grass just beyond her reach. That's the way we are, too. No matter where you set limits, kids will push for just a bit more; however, when children know how far they can go, and understand that, there comes a security which they can never have when parents won’t say, "This is the limit!"
Benefit #3: Discipline teaches obedience to parental authority, something which has been noticeably missing in recent days. Our English word discipline comes from a Latin word, discere which means "to know," and discipline gives the knowledge of right and wrong with the motivation to do right. Discipline--which is much different from punishment--enforces the teaching learning process.
Benefit #4: Discipline helps a child learn to assume responsibility. Show me a man who is successful, and I'll show you a person who learned personal discipline, somewhere, whether it was at home, in school, or in the military. One of the traits of successful people is the ability to discipline themselves and subsequently apply themselves to a given task which produces accomplishment.
Benefit #5: Discipline provides guidance and safety until a child is old enough to make reasoned value-decisions on his own. Discipline means everybody wins parents and kids alike.
Resource reading: Ephesians 6:1-9.
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